Laughing at the police
Laughing at the police
It’s easy to write comedy about protests when the police do such strange things, says Chris Coltrane
I am an activist and a comedian. This is a very easy job; no-one should respect or admire me for it. It’s very easy to explain how funny protests are, especially when the police do such strange things.
One very strange moment was when I was standing outside Top Shop (clothes shop) on Oxford Street in London, giving out leaflets at a UK Uncut protest. I love giving out leaflets, and talking to people walking past, explaining what we’re doing. Most activists prefer to occupy the shop, because that is exciting. But, to be honest, as I get older, I don’t really like being arrested. Direct action is for young people.
On that day, a police officer told me to move. He told me I was in the way and said I had to go away. It’s interesting that you’re in the way if you’re giving out leaflets explaining how we can’t afford schools and hospitals because of people who don’t pay tax. But if you’re giving out leaflets advertising pizzas, everyone accepts you? It’s like the police are making up the rules. Almost.
The police officer didn’t tell me to stop giving out leaflets. He just wanted me to move. So I started walking quickly around in a one-metre-diameter circle. Now I was in the way of other people more. I was bumping into people. ‘This will annoy him,’ I thought to myself, secretly proud of the trouble. ‘I'll probably get arrested. The newspapers will take photos! I’ll be a hero for a day! He must do something.’
The police officer saw me moving, thanked me – and walked away.
And that was all. At 2pm on a rainy Saturday, I was walking in circles for an hour. People took my leaflets and they thought I was crazy. They were right, but for the wrong reasons.
Sometimes I think London Police have a new surrealist division. They try to stop protests by being crazier than the protesters. Maybe one day we will chain ourselves to a door, and the police will arrive dressed as pirates. They will tell us that we can stay there chained to the door, but only if we make the protest into an amateur show of Les Misérables so the tourists can enjoy it, too.
Every protest has a little craziness. Once, a police officer asked my friend Kat, ‘So, where are you all going next?’ (The answer would be: ‘Oh, probably somewhere we can do a few crimes, officer.’) Another time, the police arrested a lot of people dressed as Santa in Brighton. Or the time the police said 70 officers were injured at a climate camp protest at Kingsnorth power station; after we asked for more information from Freedom of Information we found out that the injuries included ‘officer injured sitting in car’, ‘officer suffered from too much sun and heat’, and ‘officer stung on finger by a wasp’.
I love politics, I love protesting, and I love forcing rich and powerful people to accept that many people want to fight their corruption and violence. But, more than anything, I love craziness. And modern activism has a lot of that. Come to see comedy, and come to my gigs. But for real humour, go to a protest, stand next to a police officer, and just wait. You will have a lot to laugh about.
Chris Coltrane is a stand-up comedian and anti-austerity activist. Follow him on Twitter: @chris_coltrane. His show ‘Activism Is Fun’ is a free download at chriscoltrane.com
As this article has been simplified, the words, text structure and quotes may have been changed. For the original, please see: http://newint.org/columns/2013/03/01/cop-this-barrel-of-laughs-coltrane/
